It seems obvious. If you want to be better at your job, work more. If you want to be more successful, focus on it entirely. Yet history doesn’t actually bear this out.

Overwork. A lack of balance…it ends in ruin. It’s why Marcus Aurelius tried to remind himself to “not be all about business.” It’s why Seneca advocated wandering walks and lots of time reading and thinking. It’s why middle Stoics like Antipater spoke of the importance of cultivating a happy and healthy family–not just worldly accomplishments.

As they set up a new administration in the White House in 1977, one of Jimmy Carter’s advisors tried to caution the ambitious young staff along these very lines. “None of us,” he said, “would be any good to the president if we worked fourteen hours a day; and if our wives were unhappy.” Carter said the same thing: “We are going to be here a long time, and all of you will be more valuable to me and the country with rest and a stable home life.”

This is more than just “happy wife, happy life.” It’s a message about temperance–balance, moderation, self-discipline. You can’t be all about business. There are diminishing returns to working, working, working. It’s a false dichotomy to think you can just squeeze more and more out of yourself.

You are no good–to yourself and to the people known as your family (whatever form they come in)–if you put your professional obligations and advancements above everything else. Step back. Don’t overcommit. Learn your limits.

Remember family is forever.