There is an expression popular amongst basketball coaches. A coach doesn’t “get” a technical foul, they take one. If you’ve ever watched Gregg Popovich coach, you’ve seen it. When his team isn’t playing with enough passion, when the refs are getting complacent, when the crowd needs to be fired up, or when he’s just plain tired of watching his team not do what they’re supposed to be doing, he’ll pick a call to get angry about and take a technical foul. Sometimes he’ll even say to his assistant coach right beforehand, “You’re going to have to coach the rest of this game,” and then he’ll keep yelling until he gets a second technical and has to head back into the locker room.
The crazy thing is that this calculated explosion of anger often has the desired effect. The team wakes up. The refs start paying attention. The fans get drawn into the game.
Needless to say, it’s a difficult balancing act—and fundamentally different than the kinds of technicals most players and coaches get, where their temper costs their team points with no upside. The Stoics, who spoke often of the perils of anger, warned against that kind of passion—the one you can’t control, the one that bursts out at inopportune times, the one that’s all about you. But this intentional, direct anger? Done for effect? Would they be okay with it?
Maybe. Surely, Marcus Aurelius as emperor had to yell at some folks. Sometimes that’s the only way to get through people’s defenses. To wake them up. To establish the authority needed for a position like his to continue. An emperor who never gets upset, who shrugs everything off, is not one that people respect for long. In fact, to be so nonchalant might cost millions of lives. Still, there is a big difference between anger to make a point and the anger of Hadrian, who once got so mad at a secretary that he stabbed them in the eye in a fury.
We also know of a quote from the early Stoic philosopher Diogenes who—while giving a speech about anger no less—was heckled and spit on by a person in the crowd. “I’m not angry,” Diogenes replied with a smile, “but I’m not sure whether I should be.” And there you have an admission of the very idea we’re talking about: That sometimes anger can be used for effect. That as long as we have it under control, there is a big difference between appearing angry and actually losing your temper.
Anger then is generally to be avoided, to be contained. But once you have it contained? Perhaps, like fire, it can be used as a tool..but only when the proper training has been done beforehand.
The Stoics have some of the smartest and most applicable insights about getting your anger contained. That’s why we created Taming Your Temper: The 10-Day Stoic Guide to Controlling Anger. 10 days of challenges, exercises, video lessons, and bonus tools based on Stoic philosophy and aimed at helping you deal with your anger in a constructive manner. Learn more here!
P.S. This was originally sent on April 19, 2021. Sign up today for the Daily Stoic’s email and get our popular free 7-day course on Stoicism.
