Going back to Socrates we have this idea that most people are doing the best they can, that almost nobody does the wrong thing on purpose. No, they believe what they think is correct, they’re doing what they think is right, what they think is what they’re capable of doing in the moment.

When we interviewed Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson about their book, The Self-Driven Child, they paraphrase an idea from Dr. Ross Greene that’s worth committing to memory: people do well when they can.

People are usually acting with good intentions. So when people wrong you or frustrate you or their actions perplex you, remind yourself that you’re not seeing the whole picture. People have other stuff going on. They don’t have the tools and the resources and the education you have. They don’t have your same sense of good. They aren’t perfect. They can’t do the impossible, so, as Marcus said, you shouldn’t ask the impossible.

Understand this. Commit it to your memory. People do well when they can. Most people are doing the best they can.