Marcus Aurelius wasn’t magically Marcus Aurelius. Cato wasn’t born that way. All their virtues–their assiduous self-control, their patient wisdom, their commitment to justice, their courage at critical moments–this didn’t just happen. It wasn’t a biological freak event.

It was the result of hard work.

“No one worked harder at being Fred Rogers than Fred Rogers himself,” Joanne Rogers, his wife of 51 years, once said. In fact, she made it clear many times in interviews that she didn’t want her husband to be seen as some kind of saint. She believed that was actually an insult to his memory because it obscured just how much effort and intention went into who he was and what he did.

Perhaps one of the reasons we are so quick to ascribe superpowers to people like this–Stoics or otherwise–is it’s a way of letting ourselves off the hook. If we raise them above ourselves, then we excuse ourselves. But in reality, they are no better, no more gifted than us. Marcus had the same strengths and weaknesses we all do, and the same goes for Epictetus (in fact, he had even more disadvantages than you do). But they loved virtue and wanted virtue enough that they worked for it.

Even Marcus had to remind himself of this. “If it’s humanly possible,” he wrote, “know that it’s possible for you also.” It’s true…if you’re willing to do the work.