Cato did not want a civil war. Julius Caesar probably thought that if he marched on Rome, Cato’s opposition would evaporate. He was mistaken. James Garfield didn’t want a civil war either. As the South ratcheted up their aggression in the 1860s, Southern fire-eaters assumed that the North would compromise, as they had time and time again. They weren’t counting on resistance like the kind they found in men like Garfield and Lincoln and Ulysses S. Grant. “Of course I deprecate war,” Garfield famously said later in life, “but if it is brought to my door, the bringer will find me home.” 

In a way, this perfectly captures the Stoic approach, not just to war but to life. Marcus Aurelius had no interest in spending his reign fighting battles, but when they came, he was ready. James Stockdale had no interest in being a prisoner of war, but when fate knocked on his door, he answered. Seneca, clearly, would have preferred to die naturally, of old age, like every other person. But when Nero’s goons came with their death sentence, he did not run away. He rose to the occasion and gave the performance of his life. 

Who wants to get cheated on? Who wants to be cheated by a business partner? Who wants their town to be poorly run? Who wants a fight to break out while they’re eating dinner with their family? Nobody wants these things…but that doesn’t stop this trouble from showing up. 

The question is not whether you like these things or whether you want them to happen. The question is, when they do happen, how will they find you? Cowering in a back room with the lights off? Or dressed and willing to go? Reluctant or ready? Anger or amor fati?

Your answer determines who you are. It may also determine the course of history.

P.S. This was originally sent on October 1, 2020. Sign up today for the Daily Stoic’s email and get our popular free 7-day course on Stoicism.