Get Narrow Before Life Does

At the very end of his life, we know that Marcus Aurelius was making arrangements for “many guardians, among whom were numbered the best men of the senate” to look after his kids. We know that at the end of his life, Seneca was with his wife, Paulina, hugging her and urging her calmly to not grieve for him too much and live on without him. We know that Cato spent his final night hosting friends and family for dinner. Wine was poured, dice were rolled, plates were passed, and philosophy was discussed–because, in the end, it was friendship and being together that counted.

It’s interesting that these three great Stoics spent their final moments not as lone wolves but as friends, as fathers, as people who loved their fellow human beings. On a recent episode of The Daily Stoic Podcast (a great 2-hour episode you can watch on YouTube, by the way), the comedian Christina Pazsitzky told a story of an experience that led to a related insight:

“I broke my ankle two years ago. The truth is, they gave me a shit ton of ketamine. I was tripping, and I thought I was dying. I really did. I was like, ‘I think this is it.’ And I wasn’t thinking about my career. I wasn’t stoked that I had so many specials on Netflix or that I was successful at anything. I was literally only thinking about my children and my husband. My children and my husband. It got real narrow real quick. And I came out of that and anytime I catch myself getting on this kick of, ‘I should be bigger,’ ‘I should be more successful,’ ‘I should be selling out arenas’—I go, ‘I’m going to die. My kids and my husband are all that matter.’”

This is not to say that you shouldn’t strive to be successful. It is not to say that you can’t be ambitious.

It is first a reminder that the things we chase don’t matter as much as we think they do. In fact, they only seem to matter because we have taken other things for granted, namely life and time. The second is a reminder that when life gets real, our priorities get narrow real quick. We realize what’s actually important. We become present. We become grateful.

Don’t let death or injury be the clarity you need here. You can have it now. You can act on it today.

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Get Narrow Before Life Does