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Marcus Aurelius was cursed by fate in many ways. There were wars. There was palace intrigue. There were floods. A pandemic. He grieved the loss of his father, then EIGHT children, and then outlived his wife.
As the ancient historians noted, he did not receive the good breaks he deserved.
Still, he was the luckiest man in the world.
In what way?
In that, as Marcus writes in Book 1 of Meditations, the gods gave him Antoninus as “a ruler and a father.”
The ancient world was a brutal, violent place. The entire history of emperors and kings was basically an endless parade of heirs getting rid of other potential heirs.
Despite this precedent, despite being given the unenviable job of preparing a boy to replace him, Antoninus broke the mold and facilitated one of the greatest mentor relationships in history. More than not assassinating his rival, Antoninus committed fully to shaping and guiding the young boy, Marcus Aurelius, towards a kind of greatness that stretches beyond the imagination. More than being a stepfather, he became the boy’s true father, loving and raising him like a son.
What exactly did Antoninus teach Marcus? In Marcus’s own words in Meditations, he learned the importance of:
- Compassion
- Hard work
- Persistence
- Altruism
- Humility
- Self-reliance
- Cheerfulness
- Constancy to friends.
Marcus said he also learned how to keep an open mind and listen to anyone who could contribute, how to take responsibility and blame, and how to put other people at ease. He learned how to yield the floor to experts and use their advice, how to respect tradition, how to keep a good schedule, and never get worked up. Antoninus taught Marcus how to be indifferent to superficial honors and to treat people as they deserved to be treated.
It’s quite a list, isn’t it? Better still that the lessons were, as we recently talked about, embodied in Antoninus’s actions. There is no better way to learn than from a role model. There is nothing luckier than getting to be in constant company with someone we would most like to be one day. And as any parent knows, there is no better gift than the opportunity to be for our children what Antoninus was for Marcus. Because, as we talk about over at Daily Dad, it is here where we can have true multi-generational impact. We can embody the principles we write and read about here. We can use this philosophy in guiding the example we set for them. We can be the person we want them to be. We have to.
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