We live in a time when people who hear opinions they dislike think they can demand those opinions be unsaid or never repeated. 

How dare you criticize _______! Why did you have to go and get all political? You’ve offended me. You’re wrong! Shut up! Unfollow!

Almost never do these responses include what people who are in the right usually include in their “offending” opinions: An evidenced based reply; carefully considered facts; an articulate counter-argument. Instead, they just want to shut down conversation altogether. They want to bully the other person into conforming with their worldview. As if yelling or being mean is a sufficient proxy for being right. 

Needless to say, this is not how the Stoic responds to things they dislike or disagree with. Remember: Marcus Aurelius appreciated people with different points of view. He didn’t worry about being proven wrong, because he thought that changing his mind was a good thing. Epictetus wasn’t easily offended either. He knew that it takes two to tango and that it’s impossible to be offended without our consent. 

The Stoics were not bullies. Neither were they snowflakes. They trained in rhetoric, they trained in logic from childhood on. When they were challenged or when they disagreed, do you know what they did? They responded! Cleverly. Creatively. They responded with kindness and concern, even to people who they believed were totally wrong or even arguing in bad faith. Because they knew that truth came from civil discussion. They knew there was no such thing as “keeping politics out of it”...because life is politics! And they certainly didn’t so identify with their political party or their beliefs or their reputations that they couldn’t handle criticism or feedback and the prospect of having to change the former in light of the latter. 

Which is what we need to go back to practicing…lest we risk watching wisdom and growth and civility cease entirely right before our eyes. 

P.S. This was originally sent on June 22, 2021. Sign up today for the Daily Stoic’s email and get our popular free 7-day course on Stoicism.