It’s one of the darkest and most sensitive subjects in Stoicism: Suicide. Cato took his own life rather than submit to Caesar. Seneca took his, under duress from Nero. The Stoics spoke of suicide as the “open door,” a choice open to us all at any moment. 

Given the tyrants, the evil, the slavery and the torture that the Stoics faced in their day, their contemplation of suicide makes sense. Here in the modern world—in the time of a pandemic and economic uncertainty that has depression rates spiking—it is worth taking a moment to remind ourselves that this is a subject not to be taken lightly or to be flippantly cavalier about. The Stoics may have believed that suicide was a choice we all have, but they were still pretty clear: It’s the wrong choice. 

Marcus Aurelius was clearly depressive by nature. He was wracked by constant pain. He dealt with profound tragedy (no one should bury a child). He had incredible burdens on his shoulders. And yet? He stuck around. He struggled through. Because he knew that life was worth it. He knew there was darkness ahead—he’d seen plenty of it—but he also knew that there would be bright spots ahead as well. Bright spots that broke up and blunted the darkness. 

He probably would have also agreed with the classic observation from Hamlet:

To grunt and sweat under a weary life,

But that the dread of something after death,

The undiscovere’d country, from whose bourn

No traveller returns, puzzles the will,

And makes us rather bear those ills we have

Than fly to others that we know not of?

It’s the perfect Stoic logic applied to a sensitive topic: What makes you so sure that what’s on the other side is a relief? Sure, science and religion give us hints…but no assurances. Marcus reminds himself in Meditations to push through his pain because it will either end, or he will. He knew it was arrogant to assume that he could find a way around it. He knew that to mess with fate was to potentially invite a worse fate. 

So he stuck around. He did the best he could. Which is all we can do. Which is what we have to do. You. Me. Everyone. No one is saying life is perfect, we’re just suggesting a little humility in the form of surrender to the uncomfortable realities of life. 

Don’t fly off to something worse. Bear what you can now. Because you can bear it. We know you can. 

If you live in the United States and are in a suicidal crisis or emotional distress, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255. For a list of suicide crisis lines in other countries, click here.