{"id":374,"date":"2016-11-07T19:18:44","date_gmt":"2016-11-07T19:18:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dailystoic.com\/?p=374"},"modified":"2017-11-25T19:26:48","modified_gmt":"2017-11-25T19:26:48","slug":"perfectionism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailystoic.com\/perfectionism\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Beat Perfectionism, Make Progress, and Find Happiness"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Though most people think of philosophy as a system of ethics or an explanation of the purpose of life, they miss its most practical aspects. In fact, ancient philosophy was a way to create mental clarity\u2014to clear the mind of what psychologists today would refer to as cognitive distortions. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Epictetus, <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/dailystoic.com\/epictetus\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">the Stoic slave-turned-philosopher<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, told his students that the place to \u201cbegin in philosophy is this: a clear perception of one\u2019s own ruling principle.\u201d He meant that they became philosophers when they began to question to understand what guided their thinking, the second they began to analyze their own thoughts. He wanted to help them break out of exaggerated thinking patterns that have a destructive impact on the life of the thinker. Patterns like negative self-labeling, catastrophizing, disqualifying the positive, emotional reasoning <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Cognitive_distortion\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">and other cognitive distortions<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Today one of the most common destructive thought patterns is known as all-or-nothing thinking (also <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Splitting_(psychology)\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">referred to as splitting<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">). Examples of this include thoughts like:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> If you\u2019re not with me, you\u2019re against me.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> So-and-so is all good\/bad.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Because this wasn\u2019t a complete success, it is a total failure.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In other words, perfectionism. Though we often hold up perfectionists as models, psychologists know that this sort of extreme thinking is associated with depression and frustration. It\u2019s a miserable, unproductive way to live. How could it not be? Perfectionism rarely begets perfection\u2014only disappointment.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Stoics understood how pointless\u2014and dangerous to our mental health and progress in life\u2014those thoughts were. The Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, one of <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/dailystoic.com\/marcus-aurelius\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">the three major Stoic philosophers<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, reminded himself in his private journal (which came to be known as <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Meditations-Translation-Library-Aurelius-Hardcover\/dp\/B00OVNSWTI\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Meditations<\/span><\/i><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">): \u201cDon&#8217;t go expecting Plato&#8217;s Republic; be satisfied with even the smallest progress.\u201d As <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/dailystoic.com\/epictetus\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Epictetus reminds us<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, \u201cWe don\u2019t abandon our pursuits because we despair of ever perfecting them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They understood that you&#8217;re never going to find that kind of perfection. Instead, the message is clear: to do the best with what we&#8217;ve got. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Of course, we want things to go perfectly, so we naturally tell ourselves that we\u2019ll get started once the conditions are right, or once we have our bearings. When, really, it\u2019d be better to focus on making do with how things actually <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">are<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Instead of perfectionism, we need to embrace a philosophy of pragmatism. As Marcus joked in another instance, \u201cThat cucumber is bitter, so toss it out! There are thorns on the path, then keep away! Enough said.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Pragmatism\u2014opposed to perfectionism\u2014has none of its paralyzing hang-ups. It\u2019ll take what it can get. That\u2019s what Epictetus is telling us. We\u2019re never going to be perfect\u2014if there is even such a thing. We\u2019re human, after all. Our pursuits should be aimed at progress, however little that it\u2019s possible for us to make.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not that pragmatism is inherently at odds with idealism or pushing the ball forward. The first iPhone was revolutionary, but it still shipped without a copy-and-paste feature or a handful of other features Apple would have liked to have included. Steve Jobs, the supposed perfectionist, knew that at some point, you have to compromise. What mattered was that you got it done and it worked. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is why we need to start thinking like radical pragmatists: still ambitious, aggressive, and rooted in ideals, but also imminently practical and guided by the possible. Not on everything we would like to have, not on changing the world right at this moment, but ambitious enough to get everything we need. Not thinking small, but making the distinction between the critical and the extra. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There is plenty that you could do right now, today, that would make the world a better place. There are plenty of small steps that, were you to take them, would help move things forward. Don\u2019t excuse yourself from doing them because the conditions aren\u2019t right or because a better opportunity might come along soon. Do what you can, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">now<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. And when you\u2019ve done it, keep it in perspective and don\u2019t overblow the results. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And remember, it all boils down to this simple idea: <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><strong>Think progress, not perfection<\/strong><\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Explore Our Daily Stoic Store<\/strong><\/p>\n<div id=\"linkcious_ads\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 100%; text-align: center;\"><\/div>\n<p><script data-cfasync='false' type='text\/javascript'>(function(d, t) {\nvar s = d.createElement(t); s.type = 'text\/javascript'; s.async = 'true';\ns.src = 'https:\/\/s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com\/linkcious\/asset\/linkcious.js';\nlinkcious_config = { settings: { type: 'products', key: '554dcb8be94147545ea541edf6bb94be38ad6e08', rows: 1, cols: 3, \nimg_width: 120, img_height: 120, title: true, price: false, facebook: false, free_clicks: false, },\ntheme: { ads: { color: '#000000', background: 'transparent', font: 'Verdana', size: 13, title_bold: true,\nimg_border: true, img_border_color: '#ECECEC',},}};\ns.onload = s.onreadystatechange = function() { \nvar rs = this.readyState; if (rs) if (rs != 'complete') if (rs != 'loaded') return;\ntry {Linkcious.init(linkcious_config);} catch (e) {}};\nvar scr = d.getElementsByTagName(t)[0], par = scr.parentNode; par.insertBefore(s, scr);\n})(document, 'script');<\/script><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Though most people think of philosophy as a system of ethics or an explanation of the purpose of life, they miss its most practical aspects. In fact, ancient philosophy was a way to create mental clarity\u2014to clear the mind of what psychologists today would refer to as cognitive distortions. Epictetus, the Stoic slave-turned-philosopher, told his [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":379,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v15.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Beat Perfectionism, Make Progress, and Find Happiness<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/dailystoic.com\/perfectionism\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Beat Perfectionism, Make Progress, and Find Happiness\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Though most people think of philosophy as a system of ethics or an explanation of the purpose of life, they miss its most practical aspects. 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