Needless to say, life does not go as planned. Especially lately. We propose and God disposes, goes the saying, and rarely then, do we get what we want.

But does it always have to be that way?

Epictetus suggests that the secret to happiness is to stop wishing for things to happen and to start wishing for what has happened. What he’s talking about is choosing the things that have been chosen for us.

You didn’t want to make your entire workforce go remote, but you had to. What good is resenting or bemoaning a reality that was out of your control? You didn’t intend to cut out travel for most of the year, but here you are. You didn’t want to blow out your shoulder or your knee, but that’s how it went and now you’re laid up rehabbing or learning to swim because you can’t play soccer anymore. So you might as well switch your attitude from “have to” to “get to.” Events have chosen you so you might as well choose them back.

Several times in Meditations, Marcus Aurelius uses the word “assent.” That’s what he’s referring to. He’s talking about endorsing what has happened because no amount of anger or complaining will make it otherwise. He’s talking about loving what happened because hatred ain’t gettin’ you nowhere.

Amor Fati. Accept, choose, love what the world has chosen for you. It’s a better way. It’s the only way.