It’s probably not going to be what they hope. It’s not going to feel as they dreamed. It’s not going to make them happy. It’s not going to satisfy them.

It rarely does, right? Historically, that is. Has any conqueror ever been satisfied? Has any conquest ever not been a little bittersweet, a little underwhelming? How often do any of the things people dream of and lust for and fight over end up producing happiness?

The Stoics knew this. And deep down, we do too, even if we lose sight of it again and again.

So we step back and let people choose for themselves. We should repeat to ourselves, as Taylor Swift says, “And they should have what they want / They deserve what they want / Hope they get what they want.” Because it’s not our place to ‘yuck’ other people’s ‘yums.’ It’s not our place to judge. It’s not our place to interfere.

What we should focus on is where we are lusting and dreaming and fighting for so-called “externals.” We should think about where we have made our happiness conditional on this or that achievement, on this or that identity which lies outside our control. We should remind ourselves that we have plenty right now, that we can feel good—feel enough—right now.